Growing up is either good or bad, and one must find themselves amidst it all. For many, including myself, we’ve felt like our lives have slipped by way too fast. While this may be inherently normal, and just another part of reaching the face of adulthood, it’s difficult not to glimpse back at the past and feel years of our lives weren’t wasted. Just a moment to rewind the clock and relive a day or two would be enough for many, but we can’t, and we all know that. So, we sit and ignore it until we can’t anymore, when graduation is slapped in our face and a diploma is handed to us, then we’re ready to grow up. Why is it that way?
The Journey of Milestones
Well for background, throughout our whole lives we’ve followed a path of milestones. Speaking our first words, taking our first steps: we’re congratulated in a paved sequential order. But after these shortcoming achievements, it tends to slow down after a while. We get into elementary, middle, and high school and the only pat on the back we’re given is for passing to the next grade. So naturally, with graduation being the biggest milestone since the achievements of preadolescence, everyone’s in one way or another afraid.
You see, graduating can be more of a daunting reality than many may expect. Senior year when we all walk the stage, we’re not only leaving our childhood behind us, but we’re also figuring out how we’ll adapt to the unknown future ahead. And since we’re so familiarized with a new year meaning a new grade, with the same people we see every year, many tend to feel discomfort at the face of unfamiliarity when we’re let loose on our own,
Better Understanding the Unknown
The “unknown”, is most often referred to as the future from where you currently stand. The future, that’s currently a blank page, the future that can only be shaped by us. A future where we’re handed a pen and must write the story ourselves. But… that’s impossible. We can’t plan, or predict, or even begin to know what to look for, and uncertainty ties in with the unknown. We can’t possibly know, and we aren’t fully certain. That’s where the fear sets in.
There isn’t set statistics or definitive reasoning as to how or even why people are afraid of growing up, but we’re able to make a few assumptions. Research from Psychology Today, Charlie Health, and Newport Institute suggests that possibly the reason for people being so afraid to grow up is actually linked to the downside effects of mental health conditions, trauma, and financial responsibilities.
The Toll of Mental Conditions
Mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety, can strongly prevent people from feeling the need to grow up. Poor mental health can often hinder someone’s ability to cope with the burdening responsibilities adulthood carries. For instance, when it’s time to fully take ownership of one’s life, some may be left feeling pressured with anxiety, which can cause unprecedented feelings that lower self-esteem and increase the difficulty in developing important life skills.
In addition to mental health conditions, childhood trauma also plays a role in preventing people from feeling the need to grow up. With trauma containing tropes such as abuse and neglect, it can often make getting older feel drastic. When kids are mistreated during the early-development stages of their life, they can feel confused about the roles they need to portray when they become adults. Especially when they were made out to be more mature than they were at such an early age.
Financial Pressures of Adulthood
The final contributing factor is the financial burden growing up brings. Like mental health and childhood trauma, financial decisions spark feelings of both angst and uncertainty about getting older. Through the processes of managing bills, debt, and the cost of living, dreaded conceptions arise, such as the ideas of stability, future security, and the incapability to take care of oneself.
Embracing the Inevitable
When all is said and done, growing up is either good or bad, and billions have found themselves amidst it all. Sure, it can suck when we’re not able to regain the years of our lives we’ve tossed askew, but looking back with regret won’t change anything, so be proud of what we made of our childhood years. If you also fear growing up, you’re the furthest thing from alone. The fear of growing up is a universal issue that affects billions. It can be formed from an extensive combination of mental health challenges, childhood traumas, and financial anxieties. And while these fears are common, they don’t have to define who we are. Growing up may be inevitable, but how we react to it is entirely up to us.
